Book Reviews

Book Review – Sex God by Rob Bell

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How Do  We Do This Again?

Here is a topic that we rarely talk about.

Its so taboo, most people do not talk about it until it has become a frustration and or problem.

Sex.

Sex is such a strange thing.

Who can possibly understand it?

Or is it?

I recently read a book that took my understandings of sex and Christianity a little further.

Sex God by Rob Bell.

The title caught me off guard thinking it was one of those erotica books that the secretary at the hospital reads.

Boy was I wrong.

Some define sex simply as the biological nature that occurs between 2 beings in a private setting.

But this is a blog that focuses a lot more on the psych aspect of things.

So let’s talk a little bit more about the psychological, emotional, and mental aspects of sex that are thoroughly described in this book.

Sex is a beautiful thing.

Its a time when you are able to connect with someone at such a deep level of intimacy that surpasses rational understanding.

Unfortunately, this maximum euphoria only seems to happen under the right pretenses.

There is a series of  studies on how “casual sex”, leaves you feeling empty and thirsting for more.

Yet, seems so satisfying right before it.

It is mainly due to the connection that is promised, but fails to the deliver because of the lack of  intimacy that is developed prior to the act.

Connecting with a person prior to sex, is even more important than the act itself.

Some psychologist are now even calling sex a celebration of the level of intimacy that is developed prior to the act.

I remember being in an abnormal psychiatry class about 11 years ago at Rutgers University.

One of the cases was on how people who sleep with prostitutes tend to say things like:

Your the best thing that ever happened to me.

I want to be with you forever.

Or even,

I love you.

During the act of sex.

How awkward is that?

Why would someone do that?

The book has a tasteful way of explaining how during sex, even if its paid,  at the exact moment of maximum neuro-chemical release, the brain seeks for the “ultimate moment of connection”,

Leading one to say things like, I love you….

To a complete stranger.

The book ends off with the lesson that we shall never lose our ability to connect with others.

Whether through intimacy, mental, social, or physical.

Sex is the ultimate connection.

Its part of what makes us human.

Sex is part of what keeps us human.

This is a great book for anyone who has had, is having, or is planning to have sex :-P

-LizardoMD

 

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12 replies »

  1. Wonderful review. I wouldn’t know a book about this touchy subject exists otherwise. I’m old fashioned and believe there must be a connection between two people first for utmost satisfaction.

    Val makes an excellent point about touch. L.o.n.g. ago I remember missing touch more than anything once my marriage disintegrated.

    • Tess….with every comment that we exchange I get to know you more and like you more and more! I want to be like you at an older age in so many ways. :-) Thanks for the insight and wisdom that you bring to this blog always! Its important to know that at whatever age, we do miss being touched by someone. I will make sure that I apply some sort of comforting and ethical technique to my patients knowing this.

  2. I said to someone the other day, the worst part of the years leading up to my final separation and ultimately my recent divorce was the loss of ‘touch’, not just sex but the physicality of touch. I think this is part of the intimacy of a monogamous relationship, whether it is marriage or otherwise. Sex is simply the extension of touch.

    • I am sorry to hear about your recent divorce. At times, with those we loved the most, we diverge paths and see ourselves in the worst imaginable situations. But take heart, because great things come to those who persevere.

      I have heard it before about the lost of physical intimacy does affect the psych at a time like this. I would really look into buying this book. It sure changed my perspective on sex and touch. If you do, please tell me what you think about it.

      BTW…..Hope and apathy…your latest post….should definitely get freshly pressed! Great post!

      • I already added the book to my read list, there are a few before it but I will put a note by it to let you know what I think. My divorce was a very long time in the making. Truly, by the time it was final it was a relief and not something to mourn, terrible as that sounds. The loss of touch, it is I think harder than the loss of sex. Sex is wonderful, don’t mistake me. Done properly with someone you love and trust, sex is truly a wonderful thing. But touch, just the everyday loving gestures two people share, that is something to be mourned. It is what I miss the most, it is what let me know ultimately my marriage could not be saved.

        Thank you (re: Hope and Apathy). Unfortunately, each time something like this happens it affects me at such a personal level. I have a very difficult time processing.

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