How Do We Do This Again?
Here is a topic that we rarely talk about.
Its so taboo, most people do not talk about it until it has become a frustration and or problem.
Sex is such a strange thing.
Who can possibly understand it?
Or is it?
I recently read a book that took my understandings of sex and Christianity a little further.
Sex God by Rob Bell.
The title caught me off guard thinking it was one of those erotica books that the secretary at the hospital reads.
Boy was I wrong.
Some define sex simply as the biological nature that occurs between 2 beings in a private setting.
But this is a blog that focuses a lot more on the psych aspect of things.
So let’s talk a little bit more about the psychological, emotional, and mental aspects of sex that are thoroughly described in this book.
Sex is a beautiful thing.
Its a time when you are able to connect with someone at such a deep level of intimacy that surpasses rational understanding.
Unfortunately, this maximum euphoria only seems to happen under the right pretenses.
There is a series of studies on how “casual sex”, leaves you feeling empty and thirsting for more.
Yet, seems so satisfying right before it.
It is mainly due to the connection that is promised, but fails to the deliver because of the lack of intimacy that is developed prior to the act.
Connecting with a person prior to sex, is even more important than the act itself.
Some psychologist are now even calling sex a celebration of the level of intimacy that is developed prior to the act.
I remember being in an abnormal psychiatry class about 11 years ago at Rutgers University.
One of the cases was on how people who sleep with prostitutes tend to say things like:
Your the best thing that ever happened to me.
I want to be with you forever.
I love you.
During the act of sex.
How awkward is that?
Why would someone do that?
The book has a tasteful way of explaining how during sex, even if its paid, at the exact moment of maximum neuro-chemical release, the brain seeks for the “ultimate moment of connection”,
Leading one to say things like, I love you….
To a complete stranger.
The book ends off with the lesson that we shall never lose our ability to connect with others.
Whether through intimacy, mental, social, or physical.
Sex is the ultimate connection.
Its part of what makes us human.
Sex is part of what keeps us human.
This is a great book for anyone who has had, is having, or is planning to have sex :-P